I must say, I suppose things are getting better now as compared to then.



Happenings that occurred eons ago are history, so what matters was yesterday, today and tomorrow. Travelling back to yesterday, I went up to the hall after Speech Day rehearsal. Despite the myriad times of saying or typing the phrase 'Speech Day rehearsal', it will soon become part of my memories. A pity it may be, but after all, this is life. So I was with Nabilah, Syafiqah, Syed and Naufal, along with 4/7. Apparently, we were awaiting for the grand opening of 4/7's cheer. Waited and waited, Han Bin and Adrie came up as well. All of us waited. Namira was like the center of attraction, all others were just flowers in the background. Oops. It was close to 1830 when Lahlaay, boyfriend and I went to Whitesands to dine. After much consideration, we laid a red carpet and sashayed into Burger King, making a grand entrance. What a spectacular sight. Syafiqah would go "What a Jean!"

After our meal, we decided to go to the beach. Akin to paupers who are friends of Oliver Twist, we walked all the way to the beach. Wonders of a nightfall.


Three of us sat at the breakwater. It was totally magnificent to me.


As I walk along, trails of love were left before. Straddling on railway lines that go the opposite direction. A train to board, another so not. Stardust falling as dusk enters. Owls sleeping, crickets crying. When ever will dawn arrive?


Something I find it cool would be my brother's Zara top. It has a really beautiful print, very random. The best part would be two prominent numbers, '4' and '6'! I wonder why..

I nearly gobbled down a bag of chips which no, I cannot do it. Imagine having chips fight, with bags of potato chips landing on people's head, bursting open with chips being thrown all over in the air. Xuan Jie and Jun Ming will then force open their mouths to the size of a hippopotamus's mouth, trying to have the chips flying in. As for Siska and Syafiqah, they would be singing in the rain( of potato chips). Anne and Shayne would be lifting up their shirt, attempting to catch them all. 4/6, trademark/ speciality, going out of pitch. Laugh!

(Le Reveil, Christian Coigny)

Dance Of Terror

by Justbleu

Window panes come crashing down
Amidst the tears and pain
Vanishing hopes are gone and flew away
Up above through twilight
Shadows cast across the floor
Reflections of the past
Trembling thoughts of one
Dwelling deep within the soul
A mystical sense of reality
Captured by the craze
All in bewilderment
Of the shock in the wave
Creatures of the dimness
Chattering amongst the green
Everything slows in stillness
What is this we see?


Eternity

by Marilyn

Wandering in darkness grope,
Finding not a glimpse of hope.
Fingers touch to find my way,
Each foot fall, my heart betrays
The fear which drives me through the day.

Suddenly the ground is lost,
Flailing arms as body's tossed.
Splashing down in crimson pool,
The warm embrace is much too cruel,
I curse this lowly, wretched fool.

Floundering in this self made hell,
Warmth increasing as I dwell,
Within the confines I create,
Screaming as myself berate,
Giving in to this, my fate.


Trying to distant myself from the sprinting love,
yet the crawling takes me breathless.

That cold stare reflected from your eyes
That forceful smile drawn across your mouth
The stale air that hovered in between
The seeming stillness kept as apart

Monday, 17 December

-Alfred came to my block

-We were running late so we took a cab on my tab

-To think we were the earliest

-Siska, Syafiqah, Dennison, Jun Ming, Zul, Hakim, John, Xuan Jie and I discussed about our class BBQ and headed off to Giant to shop

-Grabbed our late lunch at Whitesands KFC


Tuesday, 18 December

-Arrived at Siska's house first, though I was late

-Siska, Anne, Syafiqah, Jun Ming, Shayne and I squeezed in Siska's dad's car

-I sat on Syafiqah's lap while Jun Ming sat on Shayne

-Mr Choo took so long to realise I am a Chinese, for god's sake

-I went into the gents with Timothy, John and Xuan Jie to wash my feet

-Reached home at midnight


Friday, 21 December

-My family's chalet at Safra resort and I brought Timothy along


Saturday, 22 December

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JEAN!

-Barbecued

-Royce, Ryan and Deane shook my left hand, left hand

-Played Heart Attack with the Idiot Level with Royce, Ryan, Deane, Lynn, Yvonne, Dion and Shawn

-Yvonne lost and she had to kiss my uncle's oily forehead. Ugh!


Monday, 24 December

-Cheryl, Salihah and I went to Anne's house to celebrate Christmas!

-Had great food like spaghetti, cold turkey and lamb, four sorts of cheese, with blue cheese included and some goose liver or similar

-Drank a little, played a little


Monday, 31 December

-Had chocolate fondue with my brother


Friday, 11 January

-Wanted to but ten dollars worth of chocolates and it turned out to be $9.90

-Bought a bar of chocolate for Nadia and Suhailah each

-Went to Singapore Polytechnic

-Gallivanted with Anne, Siska, John, Shayne, Jun Ming, Dennison and Timothy

-Sat with Shayne on the bus while Anne sat with Alfred

-Had dinner with Nabilah and Anne

-A date on 11 January 2011, how ridiculous


Tuesday, 15 January

-"Have fun at Swensen's!"

-Sat with Shayne on the bus and Alfred with Anne in the bus, on our way to Suntec City

-My dining partner was Raphael and Shayne and Nga Lam was at the same table too


Saturday, 19 January

-Met Timothy, Anne, Syafiqah, Siska, Dennison, Jun Ming, Lynn, Cheryl, Nabilah, Alfred, John, and Shazreen first

-Hours later, Xuan Jie and Shayne joined us

-I sat with Siska, Timothy and Xuan Jie on the opposite at the table

-Ate, ate, ate before Nabilah, Shazreen, Syafiqah and Siska left

-Remaining few watched Cloverfield, proudly introduced by Shayne

-Xuan Jie sat with Dennison sat with Jean sat with Shayne sat with Jun Ming sat with Anne sat with Lynn sat with Timothy sat with Alfred

-The best film.. to make you feel queasy and get the spins

-Shayne went, "Eh, headache then close your eyes."

-Apparently, I kept my eyes off the screen for nearly half the movie

-There was a part where Shayne and I covered our ears. Laugh at him!

-We rushed to catch the last train

-Dennison, Timothy and I sent Anne home before they walked me home

-I reached home at 0115, great


Thursday, 24 January

-After PE, Siska, Dennison, Syafiqah, Shayne, Jun Ming and I went out to eat

-We had ice cream tooooo


Saturday, 26 January

-Went out with my dad and brother

-Dined at Terminal 3's Earle Swensen's and we had fondue, yet again


Monday, 28 January

Jean is a busy being. Jean is tired of the hectic pace of a student's life. Therefore, Jean blogged in point forms in the above. Jean does not give a hoot if similar beings catch her drift.

Satire:
A way of criticizing people or ideas in a humorous way, or a piece of writing or play which uses this style

*Repetition is pattern and pattern is meaning.

That cold stare reflected from your eyes
That forceful smile drawn across your mouth
The stale air that hovered in between
The seeming stillness kept as apart

Anyway, 3\6, I booked the pit, and it's not on the 17. Look carefully here! It's on the 18, Tuesday. Laaaaaaaaaa..

After scads of weeks, I'm back here! Laaaaaaaaaa...
I didn't manage to post about my past happenings, but nothing to really bother about. I can't even recollect whatever that has happened.

In any case, with vague recollections about last week's happenings, I can only recall that I had my first Chemistry tuition with Janet, also Anne's tutor. She came late due to the awful weather. It was pouring Jeans and Jeans. Tuition was pretty much of a relief though it lasted for two solid, uninterrupted, unalloyed hours. My next session was initially scheduled on the following Tuesday. But Janet pushed it backwards to Thursday. Fortunately, I managed to change our appointment to Friday. The whole world only seems to be available on Thursday. My appointment with Nabilah was initially planned on the Thursday too, but my optician rang me up and brought my appointment with her to Thursday. How coincidental. Cursed. Whatever it is, nothing can everrrrr come between my date with Nabilah! Ha ha ha. So, then, I have decided to go out with Nabilah on Thursday in the afternoon, and on Saturday too. Woohoo! Oops, where am I? Ooh, I went out with Siska last week too. We checked the BBQ pit and it was a total waste of our time. Then we headed off to Vivo City. Boy, did we have a great time together! We shopped, shopped, shopped. We got ourselves a couple of stuff. So delightful. Ahhhhh..


What's up this week? Hmm..
Tomorrow:

Turn up for my appointment with my optician.
Tarry with Nabilah.
Tomorrow's tomorrow:

Tuition.
Tomorrow's tomorrow's tomorrow:

Out with Nabilah at night!
Probably to my mom's place.
Tomorrow's tomorrow's tomorrow's tomorrow:

Meet up with my mom.


How about next week?
Get BBQ stuff.
Class BBQ.
Family's chalet.


Wait. Apart from all these, I have to meet up with NCC main 8. Weeeee have to discuss about next year's Open House! I need to prepare our proposal already. Not forgetting about our March camp, if you guys are in for it, that is. Have to draft it up too. Oh please, spare me.


Raaaber-daaber-dumbee-duck-dum, you.

Those hidden words behind your face,
they speak the truth of your woven lies.
Those false smiles that you portrayed,
sent me straight to a city of delusion.

Thursday, 15 November

Right after school yesterday, Albin reminded me to meet Ms Wong for the amendments needed to be made for our camp itinerary. I rushed Albin to get up there fast, but at the same time, I really wanted to stay put in the canteen to.. Sorry Albin, if i made you mad because of that. Ms Wong took the whole afternoon to instruct me on the amendments, so I, alongside with Siska, swiftly transported ourselves down to the canteen, wondering if Qayyum was still around. But no, he was at central, so both of us traipsed to central in the torrid heat.

Off we went to Tampines Mall to grab our lunch at LJS. Then..

It was rather early when all of us parted. So, while Siska was had her siesta, I laid in a daze, speculating what upcoming untoward misfortunes would befall on me. Very soon at 2000 hours, I met up with Siska at 7-eleven before we headed off to the big stairs to meet Syafiqah. I finally saw her, like totally! I miss Syafiqah. Hurray.

Siska and I went round looking for water balloon materials before we went up to Timothy's house to collect our files and books we left with him that afternoon. We apparently just lugged our files all the way to Qayyum's house. It may have been at night, but we were as if walking in an engine of a plane. We sat under Qayyum's block and prattled for a while and Qayyum hollered that he is hot as a dare. Someone yelled at him to shut up in return. Siska flagged for a cab and Qayyum just walked me to central as I thought that sending me home would be too much of an imposition.

Generally, that day wasn't a good day, apart from Siska and Qayyum's company.


Past has passed, and gone.
You threw me away,
and worn me out.
What is left behind,
are merely words that kept are inside.

Seriously speaking, nothing is turning out right. So forget it luh, yeah? Just..forget it.

Is it something or something? It's like catching time or what? Jamal was talking to me about NCC White Water Rafting, Xuan Da and Aslam talked to be about NCC and my grades on MSN. Now, Alexander is messaging me, asking about NCC. Good lord, NCC stuff is clogging my puny brain.

Wednesday, 17Th October:

Question of the day:
How not to start a post abruptly?


Well, dear me had to do my NCC camp's proposal solely with a little bit of information provided by Ms Wong and few of the girls. Good heavens, I spent nearly five hours on my proposal and I have to admit, it was not of good standard. Crummy, you can describe it. Hey, after all, that was my first attempt ever! Due to that, I was granted with only four miserable hours of slumber. Albin Lye, listen good, thank you for your help, ha ha.


Thursday, 18Th October:

Forthwith after school, Siska accompanied me to look for Ms Wong, but nah, she was not in school. So I imposed Mr Choo by requesting him to hand the proposal to Ms Wong. Gee, Mr Choo also reckoned that my proposal was a bad attempt. The rest of my afternoon was spent with Siska! Heh(:


Hmm, in retrospect, I suppose I have attended two camps this year. NCC March camp and Spec Course. As the saying goes, "A good time was had by all." I had not went for OBS or Senior Spec Course, or I would have many camps this year. Two more coming up next, if you would have considered White Water Rafting as a camp. I do look forward to it, of course, but it clashes with our structured program. Three days of the structured program will be missed. A pity.


Quote of the day:
By not studying hard, you will live a lifetime full of regrets.

Jean!

It is so typical of bloggers to post how long they have not been updating their blogs. Get what I am implying? Then the next thing, another frequent sentence that has been appearing in blogs lately, suggesting how tough those examination papers were and how thankful and relieved they are now that the examinations are all over. Hmmm..

So, let me get down to more serious blogging?

As far as my memory could stretch, I can only pick up bits of events of yesterday. I was naturally pleased, like all other victims of post-examinations. If I was not, then I may be suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder or something. Anyway, Anne was badgering me to leave school, so we pulled Siska and Syafiqah along. Unfortunately, Syafiqah decided to head home first, before returning back to school. The three of them all had activities in school in the early afternoon.

Nevertheless, Siska, Anne and I practically ambled down to Downtown East. Grabbed our breakfast at Burger King and then sauntered around at Downtown before heading off to the beach. Just before we could settle down in a shady spot, an Environmentalist, we assumed, approached us. She complimented the beach, yet also kept mentioning how much rubbish the beach contains. We find her nice though, I just reckon so, not knowing why. We moseyed along the beach under the blistering sun, well, at least to me. Moments later, we decided to return back to school. I cannot recall why, but Siska just started kicking a coconut. Who knows who suggested that we kick the coconut back to school. So we did. It was extremely fun, and of course, we took a long time to reach school. Hurdling obstacles and bearing the sweltering heat. Siska and Anne saved the coconut, but I had not save the coconut, not even once. Ha ha. There was also once when Anne retrieved the coconut which rolled down the slope just opposite school. That was hilarious. We even 'planted' the coconut just outside school, below the name of our school. Ha ha ha! What a day. Heehaw.


Now as I announce the fall of dusk,
my delicate heart has quietened down.
I drew the curtains of my eyes,
while I queued for slumber land.
Awaiting for a dream to appear,
yet a nightmare was indeed arriving.
I awoke with an instilled fear,
and swirled away from reality.

Dream is an urge, nightmare is a fear.

What is wrong with you, Jean?!?!?!

Okay, Muslims are away for their dinner and I have no Muslims to talk to. Apparently, the people I was talking to just now were all Muslims. So..

I reckon that being single is the best! You know why? So I can play around with guys, right, right, right? Can mingle around with all sorts of guys, flirt with them, seduce them, for devil-may-care. I know all these are impeccable. Whatever I said are bound to be appropriate. It would carry applauding cachet. Behaving coquettishly pleases guys and annoys girls, for all I care.

All right, I have just squealed and ranted gibberish, abracadabra, gobbledygook, hocus-pocus, mumbo jumbo, and Greek. I guess I feel much better now! Mind my words, please.

I am a lousy blogger, hah. Yes, in the sense that I am unable to organise my posts satisfyingly. Let me at least try to recall events that happened the day before today. Apparently, I have a memory like a sieve. Looking into my mind..

Thursday, 13Th September:

Albin was to meet me in my class at 0650 supposedly. Despite knowing that being a little late is his practice, I still hotfooted to school, somehow or rather. As I had anticipated, Albin was about ten minutes late. Ending abruptly..

Goodness gracious, I only have nebulous impressions on what happened, but I distinctly remembered about my few minutes stint reciting my typewritten speech. Just as Arian had closed her speech, I stood up right away. I feel more at ease that way, standing before being told and adjusting to the spectacular view of the class, lol. I approached Irfan as he was sitting smack-bang in front of the position where we have to stand for speech. I waited as Miss Tan was talking. I began putting forth my speech with "A lovely good morning to Miss Tan and my fellow classmates" and thereupon. the class chortled, perhaps guffawed. I know luh, moronic right, but at least it's a tad different from others.


Friday, 14Th September:

Let's see, well, there was a pattern today, in a way. Timothy was fiddling with Alfred's Rubik's cube when Miss Tan decided to confiscate it. Then i think whichever teacher seized Wilson's cube from Alfred. Alfred's calculator was also taken away. Uh, ignore that. Just something to giggle about as it re-enacts in my mind.


HHHHUUUUUUNNNNNNGGGGGGGRRRRRRYYYYYYY!

Xuan Da said "Never give yourself the chance to prove yourself wrong. Give yourself some chance to shine."

I still can't get over these and such. FFFFAAAAAIIIILLLLLLUUUUUURRRRRRREEEE luh Jean. I have many, and I emphasize on the word 'many', assignments left undone. One pile of work still waiting for me on my desk. I am trying to do my speech, but god knows what is the correct format. Actually, I wanted to do on the topic 'Arts', but it is rather general to me, so now I have decided on 'Gambling'? I have my brief draft done.

Even encouraging people requires skills. I mean, come on luh, you got to understand whether the person you're encouraging takes it the hard way or a softer way. How could you do that to her? Even I can encourage her better than you do.

"I'm not the competitive sort, especially when it comes to NCC matters. Because I love NCC, so shouldn't I wish well for my unit instead? I see others' capability, yet I failed to see mine. I want the very best for my unit, so I have discarded my wants."

My failure to turn up for the course, I hope, hadn't caused any inconvenience.

I must have been such a fool. I am sorry, Jean, so sorry.

THERE ARE SOME PROBLEMS, SO THE POSTS HAVE SWAPPED POSITIONS(:

Reproach me all you want, I've foreseen that all these approaching. I have mustered preparations, mentally, to withstand questions, doubts, disappointments bombarding me. For a spur of moment, I deeply realised that my commintment towards NCC these years is wasted just in a bat of my eyelid. It dawned on me how selfish I was, and I didn't put the consequences into consideration. Am I being too serious about this issue? Anyway, part of my converstion with Hadi..


hadi "yay im staff sergeant but im hungry, sigh.." says:
all of us do really feel for you
hadi "yay im staff sergeant but im hungry, sigh.." says:
because you missed the course

hadi "yay im staff sergeant but im hungry, sigh.." says:
yes, but i think in our eyes you're still a gd leader
Jean says:
nah, you don't have to console me
hadi "yay im staff sergeant but im hungry, sigh.." says:
hmm, alrighty

hadi "yay im staff sergeant but im hungry, sigh.." says:
oh alrighty
hadi "yay im staff sergeant but im hungry, sigh.." says:
mutuals were really difficult u noe
hadi "yay im staff sergeant but im hungry, sigh.." says:
like, have procedures
hadi "yay im staff sergeant but im hungry, sigh.." says:
and then we have to teach them step by step
hadi "yay im staff sergeant but im hungry, sigh.." says:
and sir joshua was in charge of me
hadi "yay im staff sergeant but im hungry, sigh.." says:
the sirs in charge were really alright
hadi "yay im staff sergeant but im hungry, sigh.." says:
the sea district CLTs were the ones who were fiercest
Jean says:
oh, i've heard about the Sea District CLTs too


Yeah, kind of like that. Then Randy, from Bendemeer Secondary, who was in the same platoon as Hadi and Latifah.


Randy pledge not tobe enthu in NCC till end of year exam is over says:
lol
Randy pledge not tobe enthu in NCC till end of year exam is over says:
Btw do U remember Nabil
Jean says:
yup, why?
Randy pledge not tobe enthu in NCC till end of year exam is over says:
He is plathoon best


Randy pledge not tobe enthu in NCC till end of year exam is over says:
No la the stupid SEA CLT and spec
Randy pledge not tobe enthu in NCC till end of year exam is over says:
request the IC to report so many time strength
Randy pledge not tobe enthu in NCC till end of year exam is over says:
for one debrief it took us about one and a half hour
Randy pledge not tobe enthu in NCC till end of year exam is over says:
And the acting CO keep on calling the CSM to report over and over again because some ppl move
Randy pledge not tobe enthu in NCC till end of year exam is over says:
SO both EAST CLT and SPEC are freaking piss off
Jean says:
well, after all, you guys were attending SSC
Jean says:
of course the standard must be there
Randy pledge not tobe enthu in NCC till end of year exam is over says:
Is not about the standard
Randy pledge not tobe enthu in NCC till end of year exam is over says:
how shall I put it.......
Randy pledge not tobe enthu in NCC till end of year exam is over says:
Because we are kinda late so we are in a rush
Jean says:
put away the anger, at least you got your rank(:
Jean says:
anyway, who took your platoon?
Randy pledge not tobe enthu in NCC till end of year exam is over says:
JC


I shall fish out more, gee.. Jean oh Jean.

The Blog Keeping Rules:

1. Each blogger must post these rules first.

2. Each blogger starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.

3. Bloggers that are tagged need to write on their own blog about their eight things and post
there rules. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.

4. Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them they're tagged and to read your blog 8 stupid facts about yourself.

First, fact one, Jean did not turn up for her Senior Spec Course.
Second, fact two, Aku tak jambu\ Tak jambu, aku.
Third, fact three, Jean just received Aqil, Xuan Da and Irfan's messages.
Forth, fact four, Jean dreamt that she was a murderer of many dregs of humanity.

Fifth, habit one, I like to flip the pages of my New Testament (I love the material).
Sixth, habit two, I can't resist to touch my cellphone with damp fingers.
Seventh, habit three, I hug a baby pillow to sleep instead of a bolster.
Eighth, habit four, I love to fidget with my piercings.

I pick..eight random people to do this.

All right, the above is dedicated to SOPHIX'S dearest Cheryl.

Tuesday, 4Th September 2007:

Well, I had Chemistry lesson that day, from 1300 to 1700. Before that, I lunched with Timothy at Downtown East. Only then, Timothy realised that his glasses were snoozing at home. Right after our meal, we headed back to his house to retrieve his glasses before going to school.

Like forever, Chemistry extra lessons aren't really that beneficial. It was rather lax, but nonetheless, it's always awesome to be granted a break, especially when we had half an hour off. Anne, Xuan Jie, Alfred, and I, went to get some refreshments. Great, right after our lovely break, we had to work on an exercise. That's also when friends come in handy, heh. I went to Xuan Jie's bench and John, Alfred were copying too. When they went up to Mr Mahathir for some explanation, I went to Alex's seat, beside Shayne since Alex was at my place with Anne, Timothy and Wilson.

Let me see.. Timothy, Irfan, Alex, Dennison, Desmond, Shayne, Alfred, and Jun Ming played basketball. Wilson, Anne and I were there to watch. Did I leave someone out? Seems like it, but don't care two hoots.



Wednesday, 5Th September 2007:

AMath extra lesson. Nothing else carries much interest. I was sick, and it got worse at night.



Thursday, 6Th September 2007:

I was like dying on my bed when.. Haryani messaged me in the morning. I told Albin I won't be there with them, but he didn't bring his phone. And I guess that must be the reason why I held them up. Then Hadi messaged me like at seven. A vague impression that someone called my house and Hadi rang me up thrice, but I was so soundly asleep, as if I was dead. I peeled myself awake because I had to reply Hadi's message or they may get to HQ late. I feel really, extremely, remorse as I kept the rest waiting. It's like, due to me being ill, I missed a great opportunity and such. I wasted a slot and may have let down some people. I felt so guilty when people asked me why am I not in camp and stuff. Whatever it is, I hope that the other nine can pass out as Staff Sergeants. Well, I am sure they can. A pity I can't see the others from Spec Course and whatever other NCC activities. Sorry, once again, to keep the rest waiting.